Reconciliation: The Heart of the Gospel Message

In the book of Philemon, we find a powerful message about reconciliation that speaks directly to our lives today. Though it’s one of the shortest books in the Bible, this letter from Paul to Philemon contains profound wisdom about how Christians should approach broken relationships.

What Does True Reconciliation Look Like?

Reconciliation is biblically defined as the removal of hostility and the establishment of peace and fellowship. It involves a change in attitude and relationship, moving from conflict or apathy to harmony. While forgiveness is closely related to reconciliation, they’re not identical. Forgiveness is the first step in the reconciliation process - willfully putting aside feelings of resentment toward someone who has wronged you.

In Philemon, we see three key characters:

• Paul, the apostle writing from prison

• Philemon, a Christian and slave owner

• Onesimus, a slave who had run away from Philemon, stolen from him, and later became a Christian under Paul’s ministry

Why is Reconciliation So Difficult?

There are two hard truths we must acknowledge about reconciliation:

• It’s not easy. Reconciliation doesn’t come naturally to us in our fallen state. Our instinct is often to hold onto hurt and resentment rather than pursue peace.

• It’s costly. Reconciliation will cost you something - if not financially, hen certainly your pride. You must humble yourself, let go of feelings of hurt, moral superiority, pride, and ego.

How Does God Model Reconciliation For Us?

The entire letter of Philemon is Paul modeling what reconciliation looks like. Interestingly, this is the only letter where Paul doesn’t explicitly mention Jesus - because he’s showing Jesus’ example through the story of Philemon and Onesimus.

Paul asks Philemon to welcome back Onesimus not as a slave but as a brother in Christ. He appeals to Philemon on the basis of “holy love” - not worldly love, but the divine love that sent Jesus to die for us. Paul reminds Philemon that “the ground is level at the foot of the cross” - we are all equal in Christ.

God modeled reconciliation for us when He sent Jesus to die on the cross. Romans tells us that “all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God.” Jesus’ death was the cost of reconciliation - it cost Him His life. Grace is free, but it isn’t cheap.

What Can We Learn From Corrie Ten Boom’s Example?

One of the most powerful examples of costly reconciliation comes from Corrie Ten Boom, who survived a Nazi concentration camp where her sister died. After the war, she traveled through Germany preaching forgiveness.

In 1947, she encountered a former guard from Ravensbruck who had become a Christian. He asked for her forgiveness. Though initially frozen by the pain of her memories, she prayed, “Jesus, help me. I can lift my hand. You supply the feeling.”

As she shook his hand, she experienced God’s love flooding through her as she said, “I forgive you, brother.” This moment of reconciliation- between former prisoner and guard - demonstrated the supernatural power of God’s love working through human obedience.

How Can We Practice Reconciliation In Our Lives?

From Philemon and Corrie Ten Boom’s example, we learn several important principles:

• The gospel has transformative power. We don’t have to worry about changing people’s hearts - that’s God’s work. Paul, Onesimus, and Philemon were all transformed by God’s power.

• Choose reconciliation over being right. This often means laying down your right to prove a point, win an argument, or hold onto what someone owes you.

• Recognize it’s not in your power. Like Corrie Ten Boom, we must acknowledge that reconciliation isn’t something we can accomplish through our own strength.

• Rely on the Holy Spirit. As Christians, we have God’s power living in us. We’re not calling on our own power - we’re letting God work through us.

• Be obedient to God, not your feelings. Reconciliation isn’t just for restored relationships - it’s an act of worship to God that allows others to see the gospel lived out in us.

Jesus said people will know we are Christians by our love - not a weak, watered-down version, but holy love that enables us to seek reconciliation even when it’s difficult.

Life Application

Who is the “Onesimus” in your life? Who is God calling you to reconcile with? Or perhaps you’re in Onesimus’s position - who do you need to approach and ask for forgiveness? Remember that reconciliation is not about your feelings but about your obedience to God. It’s not accomplished through your own power but through the Holy Spirit working in you.

This week, take these steps toward reconciliation:

• Pray for God to reveal any relationships that need reconciliation

• Ask for the Holy Spirit’s strength to take the first step

• Remember that your obedience in reconciliation is an act of worship

• Trust that God will be with you through the entire process

Ask yourself: Am I holding onto hurt or resentment that’s preventing reconciliation? Do I truly believe God can transform the person who hurt me? Am I willing to be obedient to God’s call to reconcile, even when it’s difficult?

Reconciliation may not be easy, and it will certainly be costly, but it’s worth it - not just for restored relationships, but as a powerful testimony to the transforming power of the gospel in our lives.