Why Playing Favorites is More Dangerous Than You Think

We all have preferences when it comes to candy - some love chocolate, others prefer nuts, and some treats get left behind. But when we start treating people like candy bars, ranking them by their usefulness or appeal, we've crossed into dangerous territory that the Bible cals sin.

What Does the Bible Say About Favoritism?

James, the half-brother of Jesus, addresses this issue head-on in his letter to early Christians. His message is crystal clear: "My brothers and sisters, believers in our glorious Lord Jesus Christ must not show favoritism" (James 2:1).

James paints a vivid picture of what favoritism looks like in practice. Imagine a wealthy person walking into church wearing expensive clothes and gold jewelry, while a poor person enters in shabby attire. If we give the rich person the best seat while telling the poor person to stand or sit on the floor, we've become "judges with evil thoughts."

Why Do We Naturally Play Favorites?

We're Wired for Quick Judgments

Research shows our brains assess people as "in-group" or "out-group" within milliseconds. We instantly evaluate: Are they successful? Cool? Influential? Could they be useful to me?

The Bible acknowledges this tendency: "People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7). While God sees our hearts, we humans naturally focus on external factors.

Favoritism Has Ancient Roots

This problem isn't new. Throughout Scripture, we see favoritism tearing families and nations apart. Abraham favored Isaac over Ishmael. Isaac and Rebecca each favored different twins - Jacob and Esau. Jacob openly favored Joseph among his twelve sons, creating jealousy so deep that Joseph's brothers sold him into slavery.

How is God Different From Us?

God Shows No Partiality

Among God's many attributes - His power, holiness, love, and faithfulness - we often forget one crucial characteristic: God is impartial. He's not impressed by status, wealth, influence, looks, or accomplishments. As Scripture says, God is "the great, the mighty, the awesome God who shows no partiality and takes no bribes" (Deuteronomy 10:17).

Jesus Moved Toward the Rejected

Even Jesus' enemies recognized this quality in Him, saying: "You are not swayed by others because you pay no attention to who they are". Throughout His ministry, Jesus consistently moved toward rejected people - touching lepers, welcoming children, defending women, eating with sinners, and loving outsiders.

What Are the Consequences of Playing Favorites?

Favoritism Divides People

When we show favoritism, we fracture communities into little groups, cliques, and kingdoms. All our energy gets wasted on managing egos instead of building genuine relationships.

Favoritism Blinds Us Spiritually

James points out that God often chooses those the world overlooks to be "rich in faith." Not because poverty makes people holy, but because desperate people who rely on God's daily provision tend to become more aware of their need for grace.

Consider this: Christianity today is exploding in the Global South. The most common representative of Christianity worldwide would be a young Nigerian woman, not the Western stereotype many imagine.

Favoritism Makes Us Foolish

Why do we chase approval from popular people, some of whom openly mock Christ? James asks pointedly: "Is it not the rich who are exploiting you? Are they not the ones who are dragging you into court? Are they not the ones who are blaspheming the noble name of him to whom you belong?" (James 2:6-7).

What is the Royal Law?

James calls it "the royal law": "Love your neighbor as yourself" (James 2:8).But who is your neighbor? Jesus explained through the parable of the Good Samaritan - your neighbor is the person in front of you with a need.

This isn't about loving your useful neighbor, impressive neighbor, or wealthy neighbor. It's about loving the person right in front of you who needs care.

Why Does God Take Favoritism So Seriously?

James makes a startling comparison, saying that breaking one part of God's law makes us guilty of breaking it all. Think of God's law like a chain - if you break it at one link, you've broken the entire chain.

James won't let us minimize "respectable sins" because there are no respectable sins. Whether it's favoritism or murder, sin separates us from God's perfect standard.

But here's the hope: "Mercy triumphs over judgment" (James 2:13).

How Should Churches Handle This?

Belonging Comes Before Believing

For most people, belonging comes before believing. While belonging doesn't save people (only Jesus does), most people move toward faith after first experiencing genuine acceptance.

The church should be the safest place in the world for people to remove their worldly lenses and see with eyes of faith. It should be where barriers come down because of Christ, not where new ones are erected based on status, politics, or wealth.

Historical Church Wisdom

An ancient Ethiopian church manual instructed leaders that when wealthy people entered, they should be welcomed like everyone else. But when poor people entered, elders should personally ensure they had seats - even giving up their own seats if necessary.

This reflects exactly what Jesus did: "Though he was rich, yet for your sake he became poor, so that through his poverty you might become rich" (2 Corinthians 8:9).

Life Application

This week, choose one of these practical steps to combat favoritism in your own life:

1. Notice someone you normally overlook - Look them in the eye, learn their name, smile, and begin a conversation

2. Sit somewhere different - Break your usual patterns at church, work, or social gatherings

3. Examine your inner rankings - Honestly assess who intimidates you and whose approval matters too much

4. Put an arm around somebody - Be an encourager who stands with someone facing difficulty

5. Remember how Jesus treated you - He moved toward you when you had nothing to offer Him

Jesus left heaven's glory to come down and save spiritually poor people like us. He made the ultimate exchange - His righteousness for our sin, His wealth for our poverty. At the foot of the cross, nobody is impressive. We're all equal in our need for grace.

Questions for Reflection:

• Who do you naturally gravitate toward, and who do you tend to overlook?

• What "inner rankings" do you use to evaluate people's worth?

• How can you practically show Christ's love to someone different from you this week?

• In what ways has Jesus shown you mercy despite your own shortcomings?

The goal isn't perfection but progress - moving from a world that ranks people to a kingdom that values every person as made in God's image.